I've heard that funny things can happen near the end of your contract. Some people just seem to lose it during the last few weeks, and many of them get fired with only a couple of weeks left to go.

I can understand this. I'm starting to get unreasonably impatient waiting for my contract to end. For six months I was fine, but something has snapped. Two weeks seems like an eternity to wait. If I were still a drinker I'd be drinking now for sure.

For one thing, my cabinmate's personal quirks and habits are driving me crazy. I was OK until the last couple of weeks. Some of his habits bothered me, but not much. Now I can't take it anymore.

He has a really annoying habit of chuckling to himself for no apparent reason. At first I took it personally. Kamal would chuckle and I would ask, “What's so funny?”.

“Oh, nothing.”

I suspected he was laughing at me or he would have told me. What is his secret little joke? But I soon realized that this is no more than an involuntary impulse of his. He does it even in his sleep (which also drives me nuts!). Not only does he chuckle in his sleep, but he makes strange little animal-like noises – 'eep', 'urp', 'fuzzle' – in his throat and/or through his nose.

On the job Kamal is a poorly-contained bundle of Pure Energy. Every part of his body jerks or pulses while he's playing, from his feet to his head. In one part of the show, when the tempo gets bright and energetic, he throws his head back and forth so violently that I'm concerned for his long-term physical well-being. That can't be good for you!

He also sings along with the tunes when he doesn't have to play. Why, oh why does he do that? Between the singing and the jerky movements it's all I can do, sitting next to him, to maintain my concentration, to say nothing of my sanity.

And he buys things without any thought, which also drives me crazy. Don't ask me why. The first thing was a watch. A big, heavy watch, it must weigh a couple of pounds, with a wristband far too big for his wrist.

“Hey! How you like my new watch?”, he asks as he proudly displays it drooping off his wrist. “It was only $17, on sale. Tha's a good price, si?”.

Maybe he doesn't understand American dollars yet.

Then he bought a laptop, having made his choice based entirely on price. But the printer. He spent $300 on a Canon inkjet printer without knowing anything about it. It wasn't until he unpacked it that he realized it could print in colour, or that it had wireless features, or that it could run on a rechargeable battery. He bought it only because it was small and cute.

“I'm so excited abou' my printer, man!” he said as he tore open the packaging. When he got it all unpacked he sang, “I've got a printer! I've got a printer! Na na na na na.” shaking his head back and forth, hair flying.

What is this, a nuthouse?

He was so excited about his printer that he didn't bother to look at the “Getting Started” guide before using it and immediately broke the ink cartridge. I was not at all surprised, or sorry for him.

You see? I'm loosing it. This shouldn't matter to me. But it does, and I just want to get home.

Plus, I've had some disturbing news lately. Things I don't even want to know about.

One guy I see regularly back on deck 5 aft was really upset the other day. A good friend of his, someone working on another ship, had disappeared. One of those cruise ship disappearances I told you about early on. The last anyone saw of him was in the disco the night before he didn't show up for his morning shift. Gone. Vanished. Best guess is he got in a fight and was thrown overboard. Could be he got drunk and fell overboard, though.

Then I got an e-mail from my drummer/bandleader friend, Perry, saying that a pianist friend of his (whom I have worked with) died in his sleep. Joe had been “feeling tired and a little ill” for a while and was scheduled to go to McMaster for tests next week. He was 49 years old.

Finally, I got a return e-mail from a good friend whom I had written saying that her mother had suffered a stroke, and also that she's having bad trouble with one of her daughters. This on top of all kinds of other pressures she's been under.

Maybe it's the time of year. And maybe I should be happy to be out here in this paradise which is really limbo. But now that the end is near (so to speak) I just want to get home.